"Good evening, Kindred."

This is my epic virtual shrine for Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines, a 2004 action-RPG by Troika Games, based on White Wolf's tabletop RPG, Vampire: The Masquerade. Here, you can find some rambles, fun information and resources for fellow Kindred!

So come with me, Neonate, to Elysium! (We got Ministry!! And some yummy blood bags!! Don't ask where I got em.)

About the Game

When you start the game, you have the option to either pick your clan straight away or take a personality quiz to see which clan you are. There are seven playable clans in this game, all with their own unique powers and weaknesses:

The raging punk Brujah, the lone (literal) wolf Gangrel, the prophetic madness of the Malkavians, the stealthy and unsurprising-looking Nosferatu, the glamorous Toreador, the warlock Tremere, and last but not least, the aristocratic Ventrue who will drink only yuppie blood.*.

Naturally I took the quiz for my first time, because I am clinically addicted to quizzes. (Thanks Pokemon Mystery Dungeon!) I got Gangrel btw, AWOO!

In VtMB, you are suddenly yanked into the world of Vampires when some Anarch lick embraces you. However, appears they didn't have a loiscence for that, so you and your bastard ass are snatched away by the Camarilla, to be executed! Oh noes!! Thankfully, Nines interrupts your execution and it's canceled, thank god. Without a Sire, you're left to navigate the nights of Los Angeles on your own, full of crazy Kindred and weird humans alike. Oh, right, Vampires call themselves "Kindred" in this. All the while, you're forced to obey the whims of the Camarilla Prince, Sebastian LaCroix, who will scream the Venture Tower down if you don't get him the Ankharan Sarcophagus NOW!

Welcome to the World of Darkness!

As an action-RPG, there's two sides of VtMB:

One is the action side, wherein you have to juggle upholding the Masquerade (not telling anyone you're a Vampire), feeding yourself properly and protecting yourself from the dangers of Kindred life, normal and extraordinary; one minute, you're whooping someone's ass for beating up Mercurio and stealing his shit, the next, you're beating up Andrei the Tzimisce in his flesh house. And then he runs away. And you'll have to go kick the shit out of him again. This is far from boring, considering you'll find yourself in all sorts of batshit scenarios where you must whoop thy ass, but the combat's a little...Clunky. Though man, it is so satisfying to fully drain an enemy human. Mmm, bad guy blood!

Where it really shines is the other half: the RPG side. Roleplaying. You can't just smack your way through Kindred society and expect everything to go smoothly; sure, you can smack a Sabbat shovelhead up in your grill, but the hell you gonna do when Therese and Jeanette just don't get along...And they're a DID system, so they're in the same body. And also Therese is refusing to work with Bertram, the guy you need to come out of hiding to blow up the Sabbat warehouse, because Jeanette fucked him. Yeah. Or what about the different sects? Are you gonna stick to the Camarilla, or are you gonna defect? Is said defection for the Anarchs or are you just flying solo. And if you do stick with the Camarilla, are you here for the system itself? Or do you have only 1 in Intelligence, and stick to LaCroix until the bitter (and explosive) end?

Each of the characters in VtMB, no matter if they're grand, major Vampire character or just some dinky human guy who sells you shit, is a person with their own life, and there's many ways to interact with them. You can play it simple and just be a persuasive charmer, or you can be straight up seducing people into doing your bidding (especially if you play as a female character...2004, man). You can be an asshole and intimidate and threaten your way around. You can be a relatively nice Vampire who just has to get shit done, you can be a violent, heartless monster who should be a damn Wight by now, or somewhere in between for the sake of cold, convenient connections. And that's just the beginning! The Tremere and Ventrue get Dominate, allowing special dialogue options to just force your poor subject to do as you say when you get to a high enough level. Or, try to. It's not working on Therese, though. Just go to the sewer, you big baby!

This aspect is only further illuminated when you play Malkavian, where all of your dialogue is adjusted to match the fact that they're legitimately insane, and characters will respond appropriately, struggling to understand what you said or why you talk like that. Even better, Malkavians have Dementate, and this means they can temporarily distort someone else's perception of. Everything. And get them to do stuff using it. Samantha about to threaten the Masquerade? Trick her into thinking you're just her lost pet turtle! It'll be fine! Vandal banned you from his cringe fail blood store? Just give him the gigglies, he'll let you back in, faster than you can say "Crazy to Crazy communication"! If all of that wasn't insane enough, the Malkavian's dialogue options are notoriously hard to read for most people, meaning it's easy to accidentally offend the fuck out of people or just talk yourself into a whole mess. To be honest, this is just how trying to write feels for me.

Oh, by the way, the game is coated in pure, unfiltered 90s to early 2000s goth, from the way major NPCs dress to how there's a goth club in all the cities you can visit, to the soundtrack, to the fact that real goth album covers are in the game. Gotta say, nothing quite like stumbling across a bunch of Collide's Chasing the Ghost and Some Kind of Strange ccovers out in the middle of Downtown! I mean, for Cain's sake, the ending theme is Lacuna Coil's Swamped, from their album Comalies! Which is also in your bedroom! You have a copy of Comalies in your room! No mods or customization required for that to happen! (Take that, Animal Crossing! ...Which has done nothing wrong to me besides Bunny Day...)

Now, if you haven't played this game before but you wanna join the darkness, beware the many glitches and the fact that it was made in 2004 and go try it! If you have already played this before and you feel it beckoning to you, go reinstall it! It's good!

* This is only how Ventrue work in Bloodlines. In the TTRPG proper, you choose a more specific type of person to feed on that they drink from exclusively. Meaning if you play Ventrue at the table, you could be drinking only women, or only men, or only blondes or what have you.

My History With VtMB

Pearl played it years ago and fell in love with the game for..Well. The everything, and eventually, she convinced me to play it. And I did and instantly fell in love with it in 2022 for the absolutely bonkers yet fleshed out characters, the focus on social navigation as opposed to just smacking things until it fell down, the worldbuilding it inherits from the source material, and of course, the epic dancing.

Beautiful.

When I played it, my mind was blown. As a goth who grew up in the 2000s and loved supernatural shit, it felt like the game was personally made for me! It was dark, brooding but then also absolutely hilarious and self-aware without subtracting what was happening. You enter The Asylum, a goth club, and are instantly greeted with a cute goth girl with big boobies, while the other patrons aren't mocked or anything. At worst, they're just another person to feed off of (mmm Blood Dolls) with silly dialogue as you bump into them. But everyone has silly noises when you bump into them, where they think out loud. It is genuinely fun to talk your way in and out of situations, whether it be feeling slick as you avoid violent confrontations or going full asshole mode just to see what happens. It's also one of the most immersive video games I haev ever played. I really did feel like I was in a World of Darkness TM, circa 2004! The music, the decaying streets juxtaposed with gothic architecture, where do I start?

Also the game literally blasts gothy music at you, come on!

I still remember when I first beat the game; I adored it up to this point. I was on the run from the Camarilla, and settled into the Anarchs, who all had my back. Nines had my back and we both had just survived fucking Werewolf attacks, Jack had my back, Damsel had my back, and so did Skelter. I knew LaCroix was a piece of shit, but calling a Bloodhunt on me? Jerk! Killed the shit out of Ming-Xiao (it was really hard), I make my way through the Venture Tower as I slaughter through the brat's guards, and finally, I, through the magic of CHEAT CONSOLE TM, I slay Sheriff's fucked up bat form. I march up to LaCroix, telling him I'M SICK! OF HIS SHIT! And stab him. Initially, I was confused why I didn't take the Sarcophagus from him...Then, I see him open it and it blows him up. I'm back over to Jack, watching that damn tower burn as the credits roll. Whew...Wished the game didn't end, holy shit! But it did, and it literally goes out in a bang!

Right as I beat this game, that fateful day in 2022, I suddenly received a can of LaCroix at my doorstep along with my groceries. I had no memory of ordering LaCroix. Either my dad did and this was an insane coincidence, or I am currently in a creepypasta.

Then, I looked into the TTRPG VtMB was adapted from, and after a few trips to the White Wolf Wiki and getting a copy of V5, I realized I'm not here just for VtMB. I'm here for the entire World of Darkness. And Chronicles. And I guess the new one? it gets confusing. For real, this thing comes with a whole world where every supernatural is this over the top antihero in a dark gritty world that they have to fight through and also the world is apparently ending?? Broooooo WHAT!? AND THERE'S WEREWOLVES? AND CHANGELING FAE CREATURES? DEMONS!? LEMME IN!

So now I own V5's Rulebook and would like to purchase the Classic World of Darkness books to have at my hand, forever! I used to roleplay actively online! I didn't do any specific TTRPG systems, it was all freehand Pokemon RPs, but man, I miss roleplaying! ...Only problem is, no one I know wants to RP with me. And I've had so many shitty experiences I refuse to do anything with strangers. Uh...I play the game in my head? ????? I'm smart.

This game may be a bit on the jank side with the glitches, and the World of Darkness is definitely a clusterfuck, but both have brought me a lot of joy! And honestly, unless it's getting offensive, its damn fun. Video game's fun, the TTRPG is full of batshit lore and is dripping with the cheesiest of 90s edge, and my god I need to go out and try to make friends more. Or just buy that damn solo campaign supplement already.

The only bad thing this game has done to me is it gave me the worst blorbo I've ever had...More on him in a bit!

Favorite Things

Favorite Clan

Malkavian! While I initially started with Gangrel, Malkavian is objectively the best. Easy as fuck to make into a broken killing machine and have unique, appropriately mad dialogue. All of the clans allow you to roleplay to some extent and get yourself in, but the Malkavian PC in VtMB actually feels like their own character. They're just a quirky crazy fish Malk!! And this is on top of the clan being genuinely interesting, both in the game (the Voerman sisters, Grout, the one ghoul I shall not name), and in the TTRPG itself. All of the initial seven clans in VtM are great, but none feel as fully realized as the Malkavian in VtMB, though Nosferatu ain't far behind, what with how everyone is grossed out and scared of them lol.

Sect of Choice

Anarchs, baby! I mean come on, they're all edgy punky people whose residence blasts Lecher Bitch, of course I picked them straight away! And I love Jack, Nines and Damsel! They're my friends!!

Favorite Characters

Favorite Quests

Favorite Disciplines

Dementate, Thaumaturgy, and Protean. Dementate for how absolutely broken it is in its power and for its themes of literally spreading your crazy to other people, Thaumaturgy for its whole making people explode thing, and Protean for GRRRR I TRANSFORM I AM MONSTER!!

Favorite Songs

Threeway tie between Lecher Bitch by Genitorturers, Bloodlines by Ministry and Swamped by Lacuna Coil. Though honestly, all of the songs are fire!

Favorite Locations

The Asylum and Confession. They are peak goth club vibes! And you can dance in them!! :D

Memories
Or, Crazy Shit That Happened In My Playthrough

• I fed on a homeless guy in a dark alley and I got stuck behind him, to where I had to kill him to get out.


• After Vandal banned me from his cringe fail ghoul blood store, I was like "FINE, FUCK YOU, I DON'T NEED YOUR ASS! I can hunt my OWN blood!"
  Right after, I did Slashterpiece and immediately got beat up by the Blood Guardian because my Blood Pool got low.


• Crouched on the chairs in the Smoke Shop and got stuck bouncing between chairs and the table for all eternity.


• Had sex with Jeanette.


• Got stuck in Tripp's Pawnshop door.


• When I first played the game, I thought Frenzies and Humanity Losses were a lot more serious and legit than they actually were so when I was low on blood, I would hop right into the sewers and feed on whatever rats I could find because I was scared I'd kill someone.


• Used cheats for the first time (besides noclip) during the Gone Fishin' quest when I played for the first time bc I kept running out of blood and didn't wanna Frenzy and eat Yukie.


• Second playthrough, during the Wherefore Art Thou, Mercurio? mission, I sold Morphine to Vandal and had a panic attack cuz I couldn't buy it back from him, only to realize I had like, two extra bottles in my inventory.


• Jumped into a barrel on fire to see if it burned me. It did.


• Also one time I couldn't figure out how to get out of the part of the Warrens where you fight the monster lady and then I thought I just needed to grab a key attached to one of the electric box things. I crouched and mashed buttons trying to figure out how to grab it and then realized my PC (this time, male Gangrel) was hot and I got turned on.


• Jumped on LaCroix's head and then jumped on Sheriff, knocking him down. That one was taught to me by Pearl.


• Got banned from Vesuvius because I killed a guy that turned out to be Velvet's buddy? Boytoy?


• Got blown the fuck up.


• I just remembered this! On the second playthrough as Malkavian, when I killed the guard LaCroix was dominating, the game started playing, I shit you not, the All Your Base Are Belong To Us meme song! Turns out, this song's in the Unofficial Plus Patch and I guess I activated it!

RIP

Sebastian "MY FATHER WILL SUE!" LaCroix

Rest in piss, beverage. You were the funniest clown, but you had it coming (French).

Other Things That Died

• Beachhouse Thugs (NO ONE TOUCHES MERCURIO)
• Gimble
• Crab Nipple Man
• Vandal (RODENT)
• Thin-Blood Guy (tricked him...twice...It was funny!)
• A few cops (ACAB)
• Patty (GET FUCKED LOL)
• Thug guys in Downtwon (DON'T YOU TOUCH MY GOTH GF)
• Brother Kanker (made him bathe)
• Jezebel (begone thot)
• Bishop Vick (Couldn't Celerity your way outta this one, bozo)
• Samantha (NOTHIN PERSONAL JUST GOTTA UPHOLD THE MASQUERADE)
• Julius (sad man)
• Ash (Too emo to live)
• The Hash Slinging Southland Slasher
• Racist Stereotype Thugs
• Heather (RIP girlfriend)
• Andrei and his Squidward lookin ass head
• Beckett's brain cells (Him watching me go along with LaCroix)
• Werewolf (squished 2 death)
• Guys with flaming crossbows (Ming-Xiao what the fuck)
• Ming-Xiao (LaCroix's GF)
• Ming-Xiao's little babies (fuck them kids)
• Magilla Gorilla
• Ankaran Sarcophagus (it went kablooie)
• LaCroix again (he went boomboom)
• My brain
• My freetime
• My taste in men (Thanks Vandal)
• My right hand on numerous occasions (will not disclose why)
• Me (Then I went boomboom)

The Worst Blorbo

VtMB is a game full of colorful characters, from the cool yet surprisingly caring Nines to the infamous tantrum-throwing LaCroix, and this applies to everyone. Major characters are quite fleshed out, but even side characters without a lot going on are often still implied to have lives outside of your antics. As in, you feel like if you left the scene, they'd still be around doing whatever it was before your stupid Magic Missile-casting ass busted in. There's also implied character interactions through emails and things such as journals. For fuck's sake, Andrei will show up on the radio sometimes!

So, you might be wondering, who's the special someone my brain got super attached to, despite not having a lot of plot relevance?

It's Vandal. Vandal Cleaver.

If you don't remember (or are actively blocking out memories of him), he's one of the many vendors of VtMB. Unlike the other vendors, however, Vandal doesn't sell you weapons or armor. Instead, his inventory is very limited, and quite specific: blood bags. That's it. Well, there's different varieties, but in practice, it's bags of blood for you to replenish your Blood Pool. That's not what makes him interesting, not on his own at least. Sure, it's useful technically (and I will admit, I probably noticed him way more because of my tendency to hoard health and mana healing items in RPGs), but you could very easily just get gud at feeding without getting caught, for free, instead of buying his overpriced juice bags.

So, what separates him from the other vendors? Especially when he's far less useful than all the others. Well, it's not about what he sells, it's about the man himself that interests me. All of the vendors are eccentric and sure as fuck shady but this guy?

Unlike the others, he is a Ghoul. Specifically, Therese's Ghoul...Therese, the Malkavian. Yeah so uh, you walk up to him and you see this very unwell looking man with creepy ass sunken eyes. He instantly knows you're a Vampire and, before you can panic, he's actually here to sell you something. Something he quite enjoys himself. In fact, he'll tell you in vivid detail about how beautiful it is, that thing he sells, and sounds like he's right about to stick his dick in it. Wait a minute, he sells blood! Uh oh!

Alright no more pretending and building up suspense, this motherfucker is a creepy ass serial killer who is just absolutely rife with the most horrific implications you could ever expect, being a nurse who is super happy to tell you how much he loves killing and peeling a guy's face off. He isn't just taking whatever blood gets into their blood bank system and handing it off to you (which, would be ghastly in its own right), no, he is getting it fresh for you. Free Lily, he'll ban you from his store and only let you back in if you give him a new victim. You check Arthur's PC and find out he's got a prior conviction for stalking a woman and planning on doing something really bad to her. You open up a journal from a now deceased sex worker and you see his name in it. He wants her to bring pliers and a blowtorch.

Even his voice, done by James Arnold Taylor, is shaky, eerie, shifting between unbridled, literal bloodlust and barely restrained seething. His design isn't exactly comforting either; he's just a dude, but he looks like he hasn't slept...Ever, his hair is visibly greasy-looking, and the fact that he has a habit of grinning while telling you how much he loves blood isn't helping.

Also not helping my erection.

On top of that he's sexually frustrated and is clearly mad that 1. Therese won't fuck him (gee I wonder why), and 2. He's a sad pathetic cringe fail Ghoul instead of an awesome cool Vampire with awesome cool Vampire powers to kill people. Despite being insanely creepy (and insane in general), Vandal isn't any kinda main bad guy, he's not even a threat to the player. If he ever mouths off at you, you can easily threaten him and he'll backpedal so fast you'll wonder if he's got Celerity. Meaning he's a dumb little coward who can't pick on anyone who can actually stop him, and come on. He's such an obvious tweaker that in a fucked up way, he bounces right back to silly. There are men who are absolutely fucked up and evil and want to harm people (especially women), and yes, there are nurses who do not care about their patients. But if you see this guy, you know what you're in for, and it's bad news. At times, I do forget that he's an actual murderer, kidnapper and stalker and not just Therese's pet incel she keeps in a Nintendo Shit Cube.

Okay so why the fuck do I like him? Good question. He is just way too much put into one dinky, entirely optional NPC, he's genuinely freaky and every implication around him is horrific. And just a bit closer to home. You're probably never going to encounter anyone like Andrei IRL, but we've all met weird incelly guys. But then, he's so over the top in a way, whilst also being pathetic and harmless to the player that, at least to me, makes him more fun to look at and watch rather than too close to reality. Just unsettling enough for a fun NPC to be spooked by, but not enough to overshadow some of the main, actual threats; you're a Vampire who's gonna have to deal with many, many other Vampires, a ghost, a Werewolf and god knows what else, are you telling me you're afraid of some smelly human with a blood fetish?

Elephant in the room, yes, I do want to fuck him. I cannot resist Men With Knvives And Longish Hair TM, and it's been that way since I was 12, and boy's so desperate he might do it with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I CAN MAKE HIM SO MUCH WORSE! LET ME WRITE MY FANFICTION IN PEACE! HISS!

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